Choice Principle:
Give the child 2 choices, both of which are positive and acceptable to you. “Would you rather tiptoe or hop up the stairs to bed?” Follow through with, “You choose or I’ll choose,” if the child is reluctant, or wishes to choose a third option. We want to help children make good decisions for themselves. Giving children choices allows them to make good decisions and behave appropriately, while showing them respect and avoiding power struggles.

Incompatible Alternative Principle:
Give the child something to do that is incompatible with the undesirable behavior. “Help me pick out 6 oranges,” (instead of running around the grocery store). Instead of berating a child for playing in the flower garden, ask, “Would you rather play on the swings or in the sandbox?”

Timer Says It’s Time Principle:
Set a timer to help children make transitions. Letting children know that there are “five minutes left” allows them to become ready and cooperative. It is a respectful way to help children behave appropriately. “When the timer goes off, you will need to turn off the TV.” Try using the Choice Principle along with the timer; “Would you like three minutes or five before it’s time to start homework?”